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The Green Room
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(2006) No infringement upon the rightful owners of "Combat!" and the characters thereof, is intended. Any resemblance between real people and the characters in this story is purely coincidental and no insult is intended. This piece of fan fiction is for enjoyment only, and in no way will the author gain monetary profit from its existence.
"April in the Green Room: The Morning After" by White Queen
Hanley sank wearily onto the comfy couch near the Green Room door. "Never again!" he moaned. "Rough night?" Saunders asked, pouring a cup of coffee and then lazily making his way from the kitchenette to the couch. He tried to suppress a smile and almost succeeded. "You have no idea." Hanley took the coffee with dirt-caked fingers and gulped down several mouthfuls. "Playing the hero not so fun after all?" Saunders gestured at Hanley's muddy cavalry uniform, the dent in his scabbard, and the hole through the crown of his squashed hat. "What happened? Indian attack?" "The Indian attack wasn't the bad part." Hanley glared at Saunders over the coffee mug. "Although some of those redskins looked terribly familiar." "You know how it is -- all Indians look alike in the dark." Saunders shrugged. "So what was the bad part?" "The bad part was when Andrews and Holden and I rescued the settlers." Hanley handed back the empty coffee mug. "Thanks for that -- is there any of Kirby's fruitcake left, or are we out again?" "I'll see what I can find." Saunders ambled back to the kitchenette and opened the icebox. "What was wrong with the settlers?" "Turned out they were just White Queen and Thompson Girl. Seemed they'd gotten bored working on our stories and felt like cooking up a little fun." "What's wrong with that?" Saunders pulled several half-eaten hunks of cheese from the ice box. "Fun for them, not for us. And besides, why couldn't White Queen have spent the time thinking about my sequel? I've been after her for weeks to get it started." "Our sequel." Saunders brought over a slice of fruitcake. "This is the last of it -- eat at your own risk." "Is it that old?" "No, but Kirby's liable to kick up a fuss." "Oh well." Hanley took a big bite. "So rescuing the girls from some pesky renegade Indian warriors was no fun?" Hanley snorted. "Andrews and Holden had fun. Plenty of fun. Lord only knows what they were doing, carrying on until all hours in those teepees. But what happened to me?" "I have no idea." "They tied me up! Took off my shirt and jacket, tied me to a chair... and White Queen sneaked up behind me and... tickled me!" Saunders snickered. "No kidding?" "Over and over and over! Every time I'd relax, she'd be back, sneaking and tickling, sneaking and tickling. All night long." Hanley finished the fruitcake in one enormous bite. "Any explanation?" "She said it was payback. For bothering her with my requests to start my sequel." "Our sequel." Saunders nodded. "I'll see what I can do." "About what? The tickling? It's over -- they let me go a little while ago." "The sequel." Saunders gave a sly grin and headed for the door. "Hah! Good luck -- you'll just get tickled, is all." As he watched the door close, Hanley shook his head. "Fool," he muttered.
end
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